Coming Home
by RealaCarsona
Summary: Morgana has done so much, gone so far. But what if she's offered one more chance to change her fate, not by any magic, by the love of her brother. Would she take it or would she be too consumed by revenge to even consider the possibility? Set in the second half of Season 5.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is my first Merlin fanfiction which is a bit weird with how long it's been off the air haha, but I love Merlin and really wanted to explore the world and the characters. I have another fic I'm working on now which will explore what would have happened if Merlin had been honest with Morgana right from the start. As you can probably tell she was always my favorite character by far :) Anyway, I was going to write all of this and post it but I wanted to know what people would think of something like this before I invested all my time into it. If you think it's worth continuing let me know cause I'd love to hear you're thoughts on it. It's set near the end of Season 5 and basically I'm just giving Morgana one last chance to go back. Sorry for the long authors note, please review and let me know what you think! :)**

Arthur couldn't help it, no matter what she might have done, he felt sick to his stomach as he listened to Sarrum's tale of how he had kept Morgana for two years, mentally tormenting her and forcing her to witness her only friend's suffering.

They may be locked in a deadly war with her at present, but he suddenly realised that he knew next to nothing about what had happened to her from that fateful day when Morgause fled with her from the throne room, all those years ago.

He had been so happy to get her back that he had been blinded to how she had changed. And even before that, she had magic and had never told anyone. She'd had to keep it secret all alone, living in constant fear that Uther would find out and have her executed.

As he listened and the aching feeling in his stomach got worse, all he wanted was to gather his sister in his arms and tell her how sorry he was for everything she had went through.

He barely registered Gwen excusing herself beside him, not that he could blame her. For years she and Morgana had been best friends and she had remarked to him once that she still sometimes wished that Morgana would see the error of her ways and come home.

The rest of the day passes in a blur, and the next, the assassination of Sarrum came as a shock to them but really it wasn't surprising with how sadistic he had been. If Arthur could've he'd have probably killed him himself.

That night Merlin and Gaius went to Arthur and told him about Gwen working as a double agent for Morgana. Arthur denied it instantly but Merlin begged him to at least consider the possibility so Arthur promised Merlin the chance to show him the truth.

The next night they followed Gwen to her meeting with Morgana.

Arthur drew his blade but Merlin stopped him.

"No, my Lord! Morgana's too powerful. Now is not the time."

Arthur looked at him for a long moment before sheathing his sword, "Probably not."

He stepped out, revealing himself to Morgana who smirked as she saw him, "Well dear brother, this is an all new level of stupidity." Under her breath she whispered a short spell and Gwen fell to the ground unconscious.

After a quick glance at Gwen to make sure she was alright he met her gaze sadly, as Merlin stayed concealed, cursing Arthur under his breath, "I know what happened to you Morgana, I know what Sarrum did."

Morgana's mouth hung open as she stared at him speechless.

"More than that though," Arthur continued, "I never considered it before but you must have spent so long living in fear of our father finding out what you really are."

She sneered at him, "You're just trying to distract me so you can take back Gwen, I take it your knights are hiding in the trees?" She questioned laughing, "No? Well what is this then? I assure you that whatever you're planning, it won't work."

"No tricks," He said quietly, drawing his sword slowly and then tossing it aside and showing her his empty hands, "Just...understanding perhaps."

Morgana stared at him, confusion and doubt showing clear as day across her face, "Arthur, what do you want?"

He smiled mournfully, "I want my wife and sister back. Home where it is safe and no one can harm either of you."

That caused her to double over with laughter, clutching her side as she calmed her self taking deep breaths.

"Really Arthur, after all this time you want me to just say sorry and come back as though nothing's happened." She smirked.

"Of course not," The knights would probably still try to kill you anyway, thinking you'd enchanted me. But I want you to know that it isn't too late to turn around and follow another path. Because this one leads to nothing but loneliness and pain."

Her face twisted slightly and he could tell that he had struck a nerve.

"You may speak of loneliness and pain Arthur, but you have no idea what suffering is." She was angry now but to Merlin's surprise she still hadn't lashed out magically towards Arthur.

"Morgana I don't want to fight you tonight, but I am going to have to ask for my wife back. I don't know what enchantment you have cast but as long as it can be broken without harming her I will bear no ill will towards you as a result of it." Arthur said calmly, meeting her gaze with a long steady gaze that calmed her, even as she tried to shake herself out of whatever he was trying to do to her.

"There is a way." She whispered almost inaudibly before she could stop herself.

Arthur's eyes widened but she shook her head quickly, "Enough Arthur, whatever you're doing needs to stop. I'd kill you now but it would hardly be a fitting end after all we've been through would it?" She laughed bitterly.

He opened his mouth to speak but she waved him off impatiently, "I am going to leave now, do not follow me, don't even attempt it. I'll even leave Gwen with you, she's useless to me now anyway."

Morgana raised her head haughtily and spun on her heel, just beyond the clearing they were in was her horse and she swung herself up into the saddle smoothly, surprised that Arthur was doing what she had said and not even attempting to follow her.

They shared one more look, one that neither of them could interpret, before she nudged the horse with her heels and took off away from them.

As soon as she was out of sight Arthur ran to Gwen and checked her over, soon he was satisfied that she was just asleep.

Merlin burst out from his hiding spot, "What did you think you were doing? She could have killed you!"

Arthur shook his head tiredly, "I know, I don't know what I was doing. It just felt...right."

Merlin just watched him as he scooped Gwen up into his arms and carried her towards where they had left the horses.

His gaze turned to the direction Morgana had ridden off in, if she had lashed out Arthur wouldn't have stood a chance, but she didn't.

He could feel something shifting, something he didn't quite understand yet, and it unnerved him to say the least.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for everyone that reviewed on the last chapter. This story could go one of two ways and the direction it takes will be influenced by what people are saying about it to me. So if you have time, please review and let me know what you think :)**

Morgana couldn't understand it at all, she'd had him but she just walked away and left Arthur there.

She hadn't been expecting his arrival and his admission about knowing what had happened to her for those two long, lonely years had thrown her.

Every day she struggled to forget, and every night she relived some of the worst moments of her life in excruciating detail.

Most vivid were Aithusa's cries and her tears when she couldn't do anything to help her only friend.

She was a High Priestess of the Old Religion, but even with all her power, for the first time in her entire life she was helpless to do anything at all.

It was not something she had ever wanted Arthur to know.

Maybe it was her pride speaking or maybe it was a desperate need to not appear weak to her enemies, but knowing that Arthur was aware of where she had been for those years felt like getting punched in the gut.

She wandered aimlessly for ours, trapped inside her head, attempting to understand why she hadn't just killed her insufferable brother when she'd had the chance.

But, nothing.

Back in Camelot Merlin had just finished explaining to Gaius what had happened out in the woods, Gaius just stared back in shock and confusion.

"That was incredibly foolish of Arthur, it's a miracle that Morgana didn't kill him then and there."

"I know," Merlin scratched his head, "I don't understand it, she had the perfect opportunity but she just turned around and walked away."

"What's Arthur doing with Gwen?" Gaius asked curiously.

"He has her locked in her chambers, Morgana told him there was a way to undo what she'd done to her. But it was weird, it was like she wasn't aware of what she was saying until she had said it."

Merlin sighed and looked down at his hand, remembering all the times he had used his magic against Morgana, and the worst time of all when he hadn't, the day he's poisoned her for the good of the kingdom. To his dying day, he would remember that look of betrayal.

"Merlin." Gaius said softly, Merlin looked up reluctantly to meet his mentors sympathetic eyes, "You can't read to much into this. Morgana is not to be trusted, ever. Do you understand?"

Merlin tried to nod but instead just growled in frustration, "I do Gaius, I do. But all those years ago when everyone warned me against helping her. What if I had? Things could have been so different, she could have been so different. Instead we're here, and everything is threatened because instead of help from those closest to her, Morgana was pushed away. Right into the arms of Morgause."

Gaius closed his eyes regretfully, "Merlin, you're not the only one who has thought along these lines but you need to stop. Even if you had told her about you, there's nothing to say we wouldn't still have ended up right where we are now. Stop blaming yourself."

"I can't. But you're right, she can't be trusted, and if Arthur's stupid enough to try this then I'm going to have to be right there with him in case things go badly."

It was then that Arthur himself burst into the room, rubbing at his head, "Gwen's awake and she's not in a pleasant mood, Merlin we have to go find Morgana, now."

They both turned to look at him as though he had grown another head.

"Arthur are you insane, she could've killed you once today, going back is like handing her another arrow because she missed you the first time." Merlin shouted at him.

Arthur scowled and his face hardened, "Merlin! I am the King, you don't shout at me understand? And we need to fix Gwen, Morgana knows how."

"Sire," Gaius cut in as the voice of reason, "How do you expect to find her? Morgana is many things but she isn't a fool. She's not going to let you just ride up to her unannounced."

Arthur shook his head, "I'm willing to bet that she will, because it's just going to be me and Merlin. No matter what she's thinking or planning right now, she wouldn't pass up a chance like that."

"Brilliant," Merlin bit out sarcastically, "So you're not just going to get yourself killed, you're actively attempting to get rid of me as well."

He was met by a glare of Arthur but it soon softened to one of pleading, "Please Merlin, you saw what happened today, what if we can stop all of this right now? What if the fighting could end?"

Gaius clasped his hands in front of him and looked at Arthur seriously, "Arthur, even if you can get her to see reason, then what? Magic is still banned in your kingdom, or had you forgotten?"

Arthur sat down next to them and held his head in his hands, "I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. My father was never willing to compromise, not even a little, and neither myself or Morgana ever really agreed with that. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I'm going to lift the ban. But I'm not saying I never would either. I need answers, is that so hard to understand? I want to know what happened to make her like this. I need to know."

Merlin rolled his eyes but stood up anyway, "Come on then, but if you get me killed then I quit and you need to find another servant."

To his great surprise Arthur stood quickly and hugged him fiercely before stepping back and clearing his throat, "That never happened, gather the horses and enough supplies for three days. Gaius, I'm putting you in charge until I return. You are my most trusted friend and you have advised my family well for countless years."

Gaius bowed his head humbly, "It would be an honour sire, but are you sure that you won't consider taking some knights with you."

"No," He shook his head immediately, "If we stand any chance of pulling this off, Morgana cannot feel threatened."

Arthur nodded once more at Gaius before leaving the room to get ready to depart. Merlin started to follow him, he was just at the door when Gaius called out his name.

"Merlin? Look after him. Don't let your guard down for a second, no matter what."

Merlin nodded solemnly before ducking out of the room after Arthur.

He gathered the supplies and horses in record time, waiting out in the main courtyard for Arthur to appear.

When he did, he mounted up without a word and took off, leaving Merlin to race to catch up. He could see the tension in Arthur's shoulders from behind him, neither of the two men feeling at ease.

They road in silence to where they had last seen Morgana, hoping to pick up the trail from there. As Arthur surveyed the ground Merlin shifted uneasily, unable to hide his doubt at this entire endeavour.


	3. Chapter 3

That night when they stopped to rest, Merlin heard the call of Kilgarrah echoing across the valley, he looked over to Arthur worriedly but thankfully the King hadn't woken up.

"What is it?" He asked worriedly when he met with the Great Dragon a small ways away from their campsite.

"What have you gone young warlock?"

Merlin was confused, "What do you mean, what have I done?"

The dragon huffed slightly, smoke pouring from his nostrils. "Since you first arrived in Camelot the future has been crystal clear, now everything is murky as though everything that you have already achieved is at a tipping point and there's no longer any clear side that it's going to fall down on."

Merlin shrugged defeatedly, "Arthur has gotten it into his head that Morgana can be saved, I don't know what to do other than go with him and keep him safe."

Kilgarrah growled furiously, "Merlin! You cannot let the witch disrupt Arthur's destiny. At the first chance you get you must end her life!"

Merlin's eyes dropped to the ground and he turned and walked away without another word. He had already suspected what he might have to do, but the confirmation did nothing to relieve the guilt that was already plaguing his mind.

He didn't sleep any more that night, having a pot of stew ready for Arthur's breakfast when he woke up.

"How much further do you think?" He asked Arthur as they ate.

"I have no idea." Arthur murmured tiredly, realising that they really had no way of finding Morgana if she didn't want to be found.

"Well I do." Their eyes snapped open to see an equally tired looking Morgana leaning against a tree less than a hundred yards away.

She pointed over their shoulder, "Two miles that way, drop into the valley and then take a right at the boulder that's shaped like a griffin."

When they turned back towards her she had disappeared.

"We can't go Arthur." Merlin immediately said, "There's no way this isn't a trap."

Arthur stared off in the direction she had pointed them in, "I don't think so Merlin, I think she's testing us."

Merlin stared as though Arthur had grown another head, "Are you serious? Do you hear yourself right now?"

Arthur fixed Merlin with a glare, "Merlin I consider you a friend but I am still your King and if I say that we're going then that's what will happen!"

They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while until Arthur cleared his throat, "I'm sorry, given everything that Morgana has done in the past it is wrong for me to try and order you to come with me. I'll understand if you want to go back."

Merlin shook his head, "For better or for worse, I'll always follow you Arthur."


	4. Chapter 4

They rode for almost an hour, following the instructions Morgana had given them before it became clear where she was leading them. To a small cottage in the middle of the forest, tucked away at the base of a low cliff.

It was obvious that this was the place because her horse was tied up outside, rearing back when they attempted to approach to tie their own horses beside it.

Morgana appeared at it's side instantly, catching at the reigns and holding her hands up to soothe the great beast, whispering soothingly into it's ear and brushing her hands through his mane.

"I'm sorry about that." She said to Arthur and Merlin, without turning round to face them. "He's nervous around men, his previous owners tried to train him too young and he suffered many beatings before I found him."

Resting her head against her horses neck, she smiled softly, "But I killed them for it and now they will never harm another living thing again."

Merlin stiffened, but Arthur waved his hand at him quickly, warning him to stay quiet about what she had just admitted to.

"You always did prefer horses to people Morgana." Arthur said quietly, careful to let no judgement creep into his voice.

Then Morgana turned round to look at them, curiosity glinting in her eyes, "Yes, well, I've never been betrayed or hurt by a horse. Nor feared for my life because of one's actions."

Pointing to a tree on the other side of the cottage, she pushed open the door and went inside, "Tie your horses there and then come in."

"Arthur we can still walk away." Merlin said hurriedly, as Arthur moved to do what Morgana had said, "If we walk through that door, there's no guarantee that we will ever come out again."

"Like I said Merlin." Arthur replied, shrugging off the hand on his shoulder, "You don't have to follow me."

Without another word, he strode over to the door Morgana had disappeared through, pushing it open and stepping inside.

Merlin groaned before following suit, unwilling to leave Arthur alone with his worst enemy, who's behavior was being incredibly confusing.

Arthur was silent as he watched Morgana move around the small space, with the ease and familiarity of someone who spent a lot of time there.

"This is where you live?" He breathed softly, struggling to associate the lady, Morgana had been with the cramped, cold house that was poorly constructed, with water leaking through the roof.

She nodded quickly, rifling through a chest against the foot of her bed, which was practically on top of the small cooking fire in the center of the room. "It's hardly as though I have much of a choice. I tried taking a castle, it worked for a while but magic alone is not enough to hold a throne. I needed somewhere safe, somewhere my enemies wouldn't think to look."

"All this time, I never imagined-"

"What did you imagine?" Morgana laughed bitterly, standing up with a small pouch of herbs clasped in her hands, "Believe me Arthur, this is one of the nicest of the places I have resided since I left Camelot. It has a roof and I can breathe, turns out that you learn to live without a lot when you lose everything."

Merlin stepped forward, an angry frown crossing his face, "Your choices led you here Morgana, you could've taken a different path."

Looking between them, a smirk appeared on Morgana's lips as she tipped the herbs into a pot hanging over the fire, "Really Merlin? And what would you have had me do differently? Should I have asked a trusted friend for help?"

Merlin flinched backwards at the pointed words, as Arthur nodded his head, oblivious to the reaction her words had elicited from Merlin. "Yes, we could have helped you."

Looking between Arthur and Merlin critically, she saw the panic on Merlin's face as he realized that she might tell Arthur that he knew about her magic right from the start.

"You know what Uther's view of magic was Arthur, if I had asked for help it would have put other people in danger." She said tiredly, pouring the tea she had been brewing into glasses and offering them out to the two of them.

Rather than being offended at their skeptical looks, she quickly held each of them to her lips and took a sip, "If I wanted to poison you, I wouldn't have made you come all this way first."

Taking a deep breath, Arthur took the cup offered to him and drained it in one gulp, meeting her surprised eyes with a small smile, as she truly hadn't believed he would accept anything from her.

Morgana opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the sound of hoof beats outside the cottage, cocking his head to the side Arthur counted quickly.

"At least ten riders, friends of yours Morgana?" He said accusingly.

She shot a withering glare at him, "If I wanted you dead you would be, I don't need help to deal with the two of you. Wait here."

Arthur moved to catch hold of her arm, but was too late, as she slipped through the door.

Pulling Merlin with him, they stepped up to the window so they could look out and watch what she was doing.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Morgana said, lifting her chin arrogantly as she faced down twelve riders, led by a man who was built like a bear.

"Bandits." Arthur muttered under his breath as he and Merlin peeked out carefully to avoid being seen. From where they were they could see Morgana's hand, subtly held up towards them behind her back. The message was clear, stay inside.

The leader laughed as he swung down from his horse and walked towards her, "Now that's no way to treat guests, especially not when they ride all this way to visit you, all alone in the woods. So far from anywhere else."

Morgana took a step forward, refusing to let him intimidate her, "You are no guest, guests generally don't show up uninvited with a group of fully armed men. And seeing as how you are no guests of mine, you won't mind me telling you to be on your way."

She turned to walk away from him, stopped by the hands that gripped her by both shoulders.

Staying perfectly still, she stared straight ahead as he leaned down to whisper in her ear, "No one walks away from me. You have two choices, you can make a gift of those pretty horse of yours to me, or you can invite me and my men in to... entertain us, and then we'll take the horses anyway."

Reaching up she ran her hand softly over one of his hands until he released her enough for her to turn back round to face him, "Well then, I suppose that the choice is clear."

He grinned as his men laughed behind him, cut off quickly as she slashed across his throat with a knife she had concealed in her sleeve. "I kill you all." She said coldly, reaching down to draw the sword that had been hanging from his hip.

The eleven remaining men dismounted, angrily advancing on the woman who was standing over the body of their leader.

"That was a mistake." One of them muttered darkly, as Morgana just smirked and beckoned them forwards.

The group surged forwards together towards Morgana, who danced towards them, slashing back and forth with the sword quickly to drop three of them before they knew what was happening.

With their number reduced to eight already they became more cautious, circling her threateningly as she looked between them, a calculating look on her face.

Unseen by them, her eyes glowed as a tree branch above cracked straight through, falling down to crush two of them under it's weight, wounding a third who fell heavily to the ground holding his shoulder.

Stepping close, Morgana lunged, driving her stolen sword into the chest of one man, her hair flying as she whirled around to slash across the stomach of another.

The three remaining charged together, hoping to overwhelm the witch in one last effort, but she ducked and weaved between them and soon they were just three more bodies decorating the forest floor.

The man who had only been injured clawed at the ground as he scurried backwards, trying to get away from her. "Please, please don't kill me. I don't want to die!" He cried out as she held her sword to his throat, the blood of the other men dripping from it to stain his shirtfront.

Morgana shook her head sadly, "You've seen where I live, I cannot let you go."

She drove the blade into his heart quickly, killing him as painlessly as was possible.

Then she turned round and waved her hand at the door of her cottage, which was instantly flung open by Arthur who marched out followed by Merlin.

"You locked us in?!" He growled angrily.

Morgana just shrugged, driving the tip of the sword into the ground, "You would've joined the fight, I didn't need or want your help."

Merlin looked down, his eyes drawn to a dark patch that was spreading across her side, almost impossible to see against the black fabric of her dress. "Morgana you're bleeding."

"I know Merlin." She said softly, brushing past them to go back inside.

Following her, they found her lying on the bed clutching at her side, the color slowly draining from her face.

"Can't you just heal it, with magic." Arthur said helplessly, gesturing towards her side with his hands.

Morgana let out a breathless laugh as she pressed her other hand to the wound as well in an attempt to slow the blood loss, "Not all magic is the same, I have never been skilled at healing, least of all on myself. At least this is good for you though Arthur. This wound isn't mortal but I am in no position to fight you. So what happens now? It's your choice."

Sitting beside her on the bed, Arthur gently touched her shoulder, "I told you I wanted you home."

"You really meant that?" She asked disbelievingly.

Arthur just nodded his head, moving her hands so he could see the wound for himself, "Merlin, you've worked with Gaius, help me."


	5. Chapter 5

From where she lay on the bed, Morgana watched the two men she had once though of as family sitting beside the fire in the centre of her home. She had to give it to Merlin, he was far better at healing that anyone ever gave him credit for, Gaius had taught him well.

After they had carefully cleaned and bandaged her wound she had fallen asleep, it was a clear indication of just how much blood she had lost before they had treated her wound because there was no way she would have allowed herself to be so vulnerable unless she had no choice.

So she was surprised when she woke up exactly where she had been, with the two of them sat patiently just meters from her, talking quietly between them.

"That won't work Arthur, you know it won't." Merlin muttered quietly as he stirred the pot that was hung above the fire, "She's hurt to many people, they aren't just going to forgive and forget. And you don't even know if she wants that."

Morgana's intrest was piqued and she clawed her way back to wakefullness and trained her ears on the conversation that had been carrying on in her absence.

"I have to at least try Merlin, if only we could-" Arthur began, interrupted by a sudden whimper of pain from Morgana. She had moved without thinking and the wound on her side had flared up in protest, almost feeling as though it was on fire.

Arthur was by her side in an instant, gently taking her arm to help her to sit up, "Slowly, how are you feeling?" He asked gently, shooting a worried glance at Merlin when she leaned most of her weight against his shoulder rather than supporting herself.

"Do you want me to tell you that I'm healing fine and there's nothing to worry about, or do you want the truth?" She asked tiredly, placing her hand over the site of the injury and closing her eyes briefly.

"Morgana." Arthur said warningly, watching with concern when she shook her head irritably before opening her eyes.

Sighing heavily, she avoided looking at them, staring instead at the worktable against the opposite wall, with it's many vials of ingredients and potions. "Regardless of anything else, I'm a High Priestess, I literally cannot be killed. This wound should already be half healed by now, and I really don't know why that's not the case."

"You said this wasn't mortal," Merlin said seriously, "But what about now, could this be killing you?"

Morgana met his gaze and laughed shortly, "Would you care?" At his exasperated look she rolled her eyes, "Fine, I don't know. I don't believe so. More likely I am going to be in pain and vulnerable until it heals at a natural rate, but I'm not certain of anything. What would be helpful is if you were to go outside and collect up all their weapons so I can try and identify the reason for this happening."

Looking to Arthur, Merlin deliberated for a moment before nodding, "Fine, don't go anywhere?"

"Where would I go?" Morgana asked, humour colouring her tone as Merlin slipped out of the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Morgana felt as though she should move, Arthur's arm curled protectively around her made her feel uncomfortable in a way she couldn't quite unravel. After everything that had happened, it felt wrong to allow his to support her whilst she was so vulnerable.

But at the same time, she didn't want to move, it had been so long since anyone touched her with any kindness. And regardless of what might happen in the future, in this one moment, Arthur's arms made her feel safe.

Neither of them moved a muscle, unwilling to break the fragile air of uncertainty in what they were doing, until Merlin walked back in, carrying all the weapons he had taken from the bodies outside.

Taking a deep breath, Morgana forced herself up properly, to sit on her own, tucking her legs underneath her as she waved Merlin to hand her the weapons.

Wordlessly, he handed them over, watching as she carefully started examining each one.

Arthur and Merlin looked at each other in confusion as she separated them into two piles.

Once she's finished, she tossed the much larger stack clear of the side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" Arthur shouted, having jumped in surprise at the sudden racket caused by the unexpected movement.

Morgana rolled her eyes, "None of those touched me, therefore they couldn't have caused any ill effect."

Waving her hand at him, she gestured for him to be quiet, picking up one of the three remaining swords.

She held it in her hands for a moment, her eyes glowing gold briefly, before tossing it to the side to join the others.

Repeating it with the second and third, she tossed the third aside and handed off the second to Merlin, "Smell the blade." She told him quietly.

Eyeing her suspiciously, he took it and raised it to his nose.

Morgana smirked as he glanced back at her guiltily, Arthur between them just looked confused.

"Ok, what is going on between the two of you?" He snapped, "And why does Merlin look as guilty as if he's stabbed you himself."

"He's just remembering a past incident Arthur." Morgana told him dismissively.

"What past-?"

"When are you going to let that go?" Merlin interrupted in frustration. "I had no choice."

Morgana shook her head, "Merlin, I trusted you!" She hissed, "Do you have any idea how that felt? I understand why you did it now, but at the time?"

"You understand?" Merlin asked her quietly, not breaking eye contact as he watched her carefully.

Arthur just felt increasingly confused, but he didn't move a muscle, waiting to see who would break the silence first.

Eventually, Morgana sighed and nodded, "Of course I do, by doing what you did, you saved Camelot. Regardless of my own personal feelings, of course I understand it." She told him, leaning back against the pillows on the bed and crossing her hands over her lap.

Glancing to the side, Morgana considered for a moment before nodding to Arthur, "The Knights of Medhir."

"What about them?" He asked her, looking back and forth between his sister and his best friend, who both looked increasingly uncomfortable in this conversation.

Looking back at Merlin, Morgana waited until he nodded before turning back to Arthur. "The sleeping spell over the city, the one that left everyone helpless, it was tied to my life."

"How-?" Arthur started, frustrated when once again Morgana cut him off dismissively.

"I hated Uther, and Morgause hated him as much as I did, it wasn't a big leap to the decision to help her remove him from power, but that hardly matters anymore." She told him, "What does is that I didn't truly understand what I was doing or the consequences of it, I didn't know what the spell would do."

"You didn't?" Merlin asked her in surprise, always having assumed that she had just been an incredibly good actress when they had arrived, seeming truly scared by everything going on around them.

Morgana chuckled, "Does that surprise you Merlin? I did tell you as much when I arrived back in Camelot, that was maybe the only honest thing I said during the entire time I was back."

Arthur slammed his hand down on the small table beside the bed, "Ok stop it now! Both of you! And just tell me what happened, how could the spell have been tied to your life? It broke, and you're still here."

It was Merlin who answered him, "It didn't break, Morgause undid it."

"Why would she do that?" Arthur asked him suspiciously, thinking that he probably already had a good idea from the looks the two of them were exchanging.

"It was after you left to get the cart," Merlin told him, "I laced the water we had with hemlock and offered it to Morgana. Morgause felt it as Morgana's life started to slip away and came to her aid. But I told her that if she didn't undo the spell over the city and call off the knights then I wouldn't tell her what poison I used and Morgana would die."

As Arthur stared at Merlin with an unreadable look on his face, Morgana reached out and touched the sword still in Merlin's hands. "This is laced with hemlock."

Momentarily putting aside what he had just been told, Arthur looked back at her worriedly, "But if it almost killed you once, won't it kill you now?"

Morgana shook her head, "I have always had magic, but back then I had no control, the only time my magic worked was when I was asleep and dreamed of future events."

"Gaius called her a seer. That's what the potions he used to prescribe her were for." Merlin supplied, "To supress the magic so Uther wouldn't find out."

Not catching onto the further implications of what Merlin had said, Arthur pressed her, "And now?"

"Now my magic obeys me." She told him confidently, "And it protects me in ways that it couldn't before, especially now I'm a High Priestess. I'm unsure why this poison is having this great an effect on me, perhaps it's my previous experience with it, but I will heal soon enough."

Merlin nodded as he stood up, "She'll be fine Arthur." He assured his friend, before walking back out of the front door.

Morgana caught Arthur's arm as he tried to follow, "Leave him Arthur, he's worried about how you're going to react to what he did to me." She told him sternly, "And if you care at all about him then you need to leave this be, it was a long time ago now. He made an incredibly difficult choice in a moment where there was no right answer."

"I don't understand you anymore." Arthur told her after a long moment.

Shaking her head, Morgana smiled softly, "If I am honest Arthur? Sometimes I don't understand myself anymore."


	7. Chapter 7

They stayed with Morgana for two days, warily waiting for the strange limbo they were in to end and for the inevitable battle between the three of them to restart.

But up until the third morning, nothing had happened.

When they woke up, Morgana was gone, missing from the space she had been occupying on the bed for the last few days.

"Merlin!" Arthur hissed, waking the warlock abruptly by throwing his boot at him, "She's gone."

"Who's gone?" Merlin asked tiredly.

"Morgana." Arthur growled, "We need to find her."

Merlin shook off the tiredness still hanging over him and forced himself to his feet, pulling his boots on as he went, Arthur doing the same beside him.

They didn't have to look far, when they walked outside they found Morgana sitting on a tree stump, gently holding her horses hoof in her hand.

"What are you doing?" Arthur asked her, a bit harsher than he intended, feeling ridiculous at having ran out the cottage in a panic when all he had to do was look out the window to see where she was.

Morgana just held her hand up to quieten them, whispering soothingly to the horse as she carefully prised out the stone before releasing the limb, standing, and offering the animal an apple that she had hidden away ready.

Scratching at his ears affectionately, she brushed off her hands and turned to look at the two men stood behind her, smirking at their dishevelled appearance, "I take it you didn't bother to look in a mirror this morning."

Self-consciously, they tried smoothing down their wrinkled clothes but with a small smirk and a shake of her head, Morgana told them quite clearly that that wasn't going to help.

"Well I was worried, I woke up and you were gone." Arthur defended.

"How sweet, the gallant knight of Camelot was coming to my rescue." Morgana laughed, crossing her arms, "Tell me, did you think to pick up your sword before you ran out here?"

"I take it you're feeling better then." Merlin cut in, before Morgana could take any more shots at Arthur's pride.

Nodding, she tapped at her side where the wound was almost completely healed, "My magic purged the poison last night whilst I was sleeping, the wound itself is no more than a scratch now."

"And now that it's healed?" Arthur asked her warily, nervous now she was practically shining with health and vitality and they had lost the advantage that had been easing their fears for the time being.

Tilting her head to the side, Morgana considered them both for a long moment before her lips twisted into smirk, raising an eyebrow mockingly, "You are aware that you're both edging backwards right? After three nights in my home, are you truly so stupid to believe that I haven't been capable of killing you if I wished at any point I chose?"

Hand twitching towards the spot at his waist where his sword hilt usually rested, Arthur shook his head, "You needed us Morgana, we were there for you, you don't need to do this." He reasoned, holding his hands up in front of him defensively.

They were both surprised when it was Morgana who took a step backwards, and if they hadn't known better they would think it was an expression of hurt flashing across her face.

Shaking her head slowly, she turned on her heel and stalked off into the trees, disappearing from sight.

Merlin and Arthur exchanged a concerned look, "Where is she going?" Arthur hissed, stepping forwards as if he intended to go after her.

Catching his arm, Merlin pulled him back, "You really want to follow an angry witch into a forest?" He asked his friend, "If you really want to speak to her then we need to just wait here, if she does decide to attack us we can't do anything unless we can see it coming."

Reluctantly Arthur nodded, taking a seat on the same tree stump Morgana had been using once Merlin released his grip.

They waited for over an hour, with Arthur pacing anxiously at regular intervals.

The sun was at it's highest point in the sky when Morgana finally returned, and to say she looked shocked to see them still there would be an understatement. She froze in place, staring at them with a perplexed grimace, before brushing past and going into her cottage, slamming the door behind her.

Taking a deep breath, Arthur attempted to follow her, only to find that the door had been locked behind her.

"Morgana don't be ridiculous let me in!" He called through the wood, pounding on it with his fist, his impatience catching up with him.

"Go away Arthur!" She yelled back, which was all too familiar to similar moments they had had growing up. Her response to feeling hurt, confused, or unsure was always to lock herself in her chambers and block him out.

"You're acting like a child." He growled in frustration, leaning his weight against the door in an attempt to force it open.

He nearly fell through it as it swung open abruptly, yanked open by an increasingly irate witch. The only thing that stopped him falling on her was the long, pointed nail of her index finger as it jabbed him in the shoulder, driving him back.

"You are being completely unfair." She snarled, advancing on him as he stumbled back into the centre of the clearing outside her home. "You come here, you act like my brother, you pretend everything's normal. And then the next thing I know, as soon as you're done feeling pity for the way my life's gone to hell, you're back to accusing me of things that I haven't even thought about doing. You're so selfish, King Arthur." She said the last part sweetly, making a mockery of his title.

Merlin tried to intervene, to get between the two of them before one of them said something they couldn't take back and it descended into a blood bath. But before he even got within two metres of them he was being flung back and pinned against a tree.

His magic rose instinctively but he forced it down, from the look on her face, Morgana wasn't even aware of what her magic was doing, it was operating purely on impulse and whilst he was uncomfortable, her magic hadn't moved to actively hurt him.

"I'm selfish?" He scoffed furiously, not backing down now they had started, "All you have tried to do in these last years has been torment me, my father and my people. And for what? So what, you can rule over everyone and make them as miserable as you are?"

He could tell he'd hit a nerve with calling her out on her misery, because her eyes widened for a moment and tears started to collect, but she refused to let them fall.

"You know what Arthur?" She laughed bitterly, clenching her fists as she stared him down, "You're completely right, I am miserable, because I am alone and unwanted, cast out by everyone that I used to love. I really loved Camelot, I loved it's people, what it stood for, and I would have died to protect it. But with magic? Not a single one of them would have lifted a finger to protect me had Uther found out what I am. Camelot is my home, and I want it back, and if I have to tear it apart piece by piece to do that then I wil."

Blinded by anger and frustration, Arthur didn't fully register what she had said. A small part of him, locked away behind the wall of rage, was screaming to listen, that it was time to actually talk on a level playing field. But that part was a long was off, and it's voice was too easily drowned out in the moment.

"You want us all to believe that's really what's driving you Morgana? You're homesick?" He growled out, "You have done awful, awful things. Camelot is my home, and you're the one it needs protection from."

Eyes narrowing hatefully, Morgana punched him, his head snapping to the side before he hit the ground.

Completely taken aback by the unexpected physical reaction to their fight, Arthur lay there stunned, holding his aching jaw as she stared down at him.

"You don't deserve to be King, you're just like your father." She hissed.

"Our father." Arthur corrected, unable to help himself.

"Both of you need to calm down now!" Merlin finally cut in, as he saw Morgana gearing up to hit Arthur again, although why she hadn't thought to use magic yet he was unsure.

Finally remembering his presence they turned to look at him, both with matching expressions of shock at the way he was pinned in place.

Raising a shaky hand to her mouth, Morgana's eyes glowed gold as she waved her other hand to release him, stepping forward as he sank to the floor, the pressure released.

"Merlin, I didn't mean to-" She started, not even sure herself why she was bothering to explain.

Arthur shook his head, "You cannot seriously expect us to believe that you just accidentally used your magic on Merlin."

"It doesn't matter if she expects us to believe her or not," Merlin stopped him before Arthur could restart the fight that him pulling Morgana's attention away had broken off. "I already do."

Arthur looked like he was going to argue back again, but Merlin waved his hand quickly, "I mean it Arthur, she had no idea that it happened, she was so busy arguing with you that her magic just tossed me across the clearing so I wouldn't get in the way when I tried to interfere."

Morgana watched Merlin curiously for a moment, wondering at just how he was so sure, before remembering what had been happening just before he interrupted. "I think you should both leave." She told them, "And it's probably better if you don't come back."

Then she walked back into the cottage and shut the door, both of the men knew without trying it that it was locked again, and this time there was no way it was opening until they were long gone.


	8. Chapter 8

It wasn't until the next day that Morgana left her cottage, even though she had heard the hoofbeats of their horses leaving the night before.

Which was why she was taken aback to see Merlin sat crossed legged in the centre of the clearing, daydreaming to himself as he stared off into space.

She almost withdrew again, but at the last moment she stopped herself. Regardless of everything else, he had defended her the day before and at the very least she could hear what he had to say.

Wordlessly, she walked over and sat in front of him.

They sat there in silence for a while, until eventually Merlin looked back at her.

"I've thought about it a lot, about the person you were when I arrived in Camelot. You were one of the first people I saw, watching an execution from your window with heartbreak in your eyes. I remember thinking that you were such a bright spot of good in such a dark moment." Merlin spoke slowly.

Morgana said nothing, listening quietly.

"And I understand hating Uther, I hated him too. But for the longest time, I couldn't understand your methods. I couldn't wrap my head around how someone so good, could become so dark."

"But you think you do now?" She whispered disbelievingly, although unaggressive, truly curious at his answer.

Merlin's eyes were teary as they met hers, "Was there a single person who didn't betray you?"

Morgana sucked in a sharp breath, feeling as though an immense weight was suddenly pressing down on her chest.

"Uther goes without saying. But Gaius hid what you are from you for years. Gwen betrayed you to Leon. Arthur turned his back. I poisoned you. And those are just the obvious ones. Regardless of the reasons for our actions, regardless of how right we believed we were, you were isolated and frightened. Each of us had so many opportunities to pull you back from the edge, but at each one we just pushed you a little closer."

Silence fell again for a long time, the sun dipped further towards the horizon before Merlin spoke again, "So I keep thinking, I think about Mordred and the woman who risked her life to save his. I think about Ealdor and the woman who defied her King and risked her life to defend it. I think of the woman who ran down the castle steps because she had a vision of Arthur's death, begging him not to go. And I understand where it all went wrong."

She didn't breathe as she watched him, his fingers clutching at the ground beneath them as though to anchor himself.

"You were the best of us, and we ruined you."


End file.
